Intimate Talk

Having sex is fun, but initiating sex can sometimes feel like a challenge. It's easy to avoid making the first move, even if you are thinking “I want to have sex!”  because it can be awkward, or maybe you're unsure how to get your partner in the mood. And then, of course, there's the fear of rejection! What if they say no? Why can’t sex happen spontaneously?

We all know that sex rarely "just happens." Someone has to be brave enough to get things going — and in long-term relationships, if one partner is consistently responsible for initiating sex, it can sometimes lead to resentment — so knowing how to initiate sex with bad bitch confidence is a must.

Luckily, there are countless fun and exciting ways to get things started, and choosing what you're most comfortable with will give you the most confidence.

To equip yourself with tools and strategies for initiating when the mood strikes, keep reading, below.

6 ways to make the first move with the most confidence

1. Facing fears

One of the biggest obstacles to initiating sex confidently is the fear of rejection. Until you address this fear, it’s hard to move forward. We all know there's always a chance that our partner won't be in the mood when we are. The solution? Talk to your partner about how you want to handle these moments.

For example, if they aren’t in the mood because they have a work call in 20 minutes, maybe sex can happen after the meeting. Or, if they're not feeling up for sex but would enjoy cuddling and making out, that could be an option. This way, the answer isn’t a hard “no” but more like “maybe later” or “let’s cuddle instead.”

2. Hold the "sexy," keep the SEX

This might sound counterintuitive, but initiating sex doesn’t always have to be sexy. We often feel like making the first move needs to be a big production, centered around seduction. Sure, there's a time and place for the trench coat and lingerie, but more often than not, your partner just wants to feel desired.

That desire can be communicated with simple words like, “Can you be in the mood for sex?” or “Are you down for some fun?” Take the pressure off of yourself.

Save the dirty talk for when things are actually heating up and keep your hands to yourself—for now.

Now, while initiating doesn’t have to be sexy, a little drama or spice never hurts. If that’s your style, try one of the following ideas to get things going.

3. Be a digital dynamo

If initiating sex face-to-face feels intimidating, turn to your phone! Remember sexting? It’s often something we do early in relationships when the spark is high. Sending a sexy message (or a voice memo if you're feeling bold) can be a way to gauge your partner's interest.

Even a series of emojis can create sexual tension if played the right way. You could send a playful calendar invite with a code word you both recognize as a cue for intimacy. If you trust your partner, sharing a suggestive photo with a simple text can really get them excited. Something like, “Can’t wait to see you tonight 😘” is simple yet effective.

4. Set the scene

Let your actions do the talking by creating a serene environment for you and your partner. Engage all five senses: light your favorite incense to stimulate your sense of smell, lower the lights, and burn a candle for ambiance. Pour a glass of wine or tea to ignite your taste buds. Play your favorite playlist, and of course, have your go-to toys ready for when things heat up.

Once your space is set, guide your lover in and let the mood build naturally.

5. Put it on the calendar

Scheduling sex is often controversial, but let’s face it—nothing important in life happens without setting time aside. At the same time, scheduling sex can create pressure. So, here’s my suggestion: designate an hour each week for intimate time with your partner.

This could range from cuddling and kissing to back rubs with massage oils and deep conversations. It might also be an opportunity to try something new, like playing with restraints, or simply a chance to explore each other, which may naturally lead to sex. The key is to talk to your partner about a time of day they feel most open to intimacy, find something that works for both of you, and be consistent. And remember, you can still be spontaneous and intimate outside of that scheduled time!

6. Add to cart

Looking for the best sex toys for your wife is a win-win — and the happy wife equals happy life trope aside — she’ll really appreciate knowing you’ve thought about her pleasure.

Not to mention, is there anything sexier than seeing your wife experience full-blown pleasure overload? The key is finding toys she’ll be comfortable using and starting with an open dialogue about what brings you both pleasure, so you get even closer.

Understanding your wife’s preferences and comfort level

No one knows your wife in the bedroom like you do. What does she like — external or internal pleasure, or a mix of both? Would she prefer a small handheld vibrator or something larger?

Knowing the answers to these types of questions can help you find the best sex toys for your wife. If your wife has never experimented with toys, you might want to start slowly and work up. On the other hand, a seasoned expert in the toy department may appreciate something new and exciting she’s never tried before. 

Popular types of sex toys (that your wife will love)

There is a wide variety of popular sex toys for wives, including (but certainly not limited to): 

• Internal vibrators

• External vibrators  

• Full body vibrators 

• Handcuffs

• Lubricants 

Our shopping guide: Finding the right sex toy for your lover

Did you know that over fifty percent of women report owning and using a vibrator? And for good reason. They are designed to maximize female pleasure. But no two vibrators are made exactly the same, and in our opinion, your wife can never have too many in her collection.

With different settings, intensity levels, shapes, and even textures, you can help her create a never-ending level of vibrating fun.

Plus, vibrators come in all shapes and sizes and can be used for more than just the clitoris. Some vibrators double as full body massagers, while others are perfectly shaped to offer internal stimulation. Here’s an overview of some of our favorites to help you find the best sex toys for your wife. 

The Play Mini Vibrator ($35) is an ideal starting point. Boasting a compact size and curvy shape, it fits comfortably in your (or her) hand. It’s designed with two different sides; one is round and feels nice when placed just about anywhere. The other side is perfectly curved to nestle right up to the clitoris or anus for stimulation, where she craves it most. Thanks to three different vibration settings, your wife can pick which intensity and pulse she prefers. Other perks include one hour of continuous use between charges and a travel-friendly mode for sex sessions away from home. 

Massage Clitoral Vibrator ($45) According to Women’s Health Magazine, Bloomi’s Massage Clitoral and Body Vibrator is ranked one of the best toys by intimacy therapists. The handheld massager fits right in the palm of your hand while the rounded edges go to work, offering a plethora of pleasure to the clitoris and beyond. 

Caress Full Body Massager ($65) Looking for something a little larger? The Caress is a full-body massage wand capable of relieving tense and stress before it goes to work providing fireworks. One side vibrates while the other side does not, offering the option for an internal toy as an added bonus. 

How to introduce sex toys into your marriage

Adding a fun new toy or two into the bedroom can be an incredible experience. After all, toys do things that our bodies alone simply cannot - like pulse and vibrate. Plus, it helps keep things spicy, new,  and interesting.  Yet, if you’ve been with your partner for a while and have not introduced toys to the bedroom, you might be wondering how to go about doing so. Vibrators are highly targeted to female pleasure; therefore, chances are you won’t have much issue convincing your partner to give it a go. And remember, a vibrator takes nothing away from you; it just adds to what you can offer. 

Here are some tips for throwing toys into the mix: 

Time it right 

The key is to time out the conversation just right. Instead of whipping the toy out mid-sex sesh, try talking about it when sex isn’t on the table so your partner has time to warm up to the idea before they are presented with using it. 

Never force it 

Make sure your partner is comfortable trying a certain toy, and never force it upon them. You can always bring it up and then leave it on the table for them to think about and consider. 

Be open and honest 

Steer clear of criticizing your current sex life or bringing up any frustrations you may have. Instead, point out how this could be something new and fun to try together. Be open about what turns you on; for instance, watching them have an amazing orgasm with a vibrator. Try coming from a place of exploration to avoid making your partner feel inadequate or insecure about the sex you’ve been having.  

Remember, you’re on an exploratory journey together 

At the end of the day your goals are aligned - to reach peak pleasure together. Don’t forget this common goal. Present the idea of toys as an exciting exploratory journey you get to go on together to find what you both like in the bedroom. The longer one is in a relationship, the more comfortable he or she becomes. This level of comfort could potentially cause things in the bedroom to become stagnant, or it could help both parties unlock a deeper understanding of what brings the greatest pleasure in the bedroom - judgment-free. 

3 common concerns about buying sex toys for your wife

Still, have some concerns about buying a sex toy for your wife? You’re not alone, but fear not! Here’s some great advice for spicing things up. 

1. How do I buy a sex toy for my wife?

Hit the buy button - you won’t regret it! But first, consider talking to your wife openly and honestly about her comfort level using toys. Ask her what she likes or would like to try. Centering the purchase around her wants, needs, and comfort level is key to success. 

2. Is it okay to buy sex toys for my wife?

Who better to buy a sex toy than a husband shopping for his wife? After all, you are the King of your woman’s pleasure, and you know what she likes in the bedroom more than anyone else. Other than her, of course, and that’s why it’s important to have an open discussion first and foremost about what she is willing and wanting to try. 

3. How to maintain and care for sex toys? 

High-quality sex toys don’t take a lot of care or maintenance. Bloomi’s sex toys are made to simplify things - not complicate them. Say no thanks to toy malfunctions and complicated buttons; we kicked all that to the curb with our sleek and easy-to-use designs. There are no pricey batteries to replace; simply charge your toy and keep it clean with mild soap and water. Then, when you’re ready to use your toys, they’ll be there for you time and time again. 

Your continued journey of intimacy: Exploring new avenues together 

The orgasm — also known as the climax, the Big O. While you may know what an orgasm feels like, how what do you really know about the incredible phenomenon?

“Blood pressure is lower after an orgasm, endorphins released help with pain [this includes period pain] and sleep is often improved. Many people use orgasm to regulate their mood and stress because of the calming chemicals it releases,” one recent Telegraph article says.

Aside from the rush of feel-good chemicals that overcome the body, what should you know about an orgasm? What kind are there? Who can have them? We’re here to break down some of the most interesting orgasm facts, as well as the science behind them, below.

The Science Behind Orgasms: Exploring the Physiology

There is science behind orgasms; after all, it is your body's response to some sort of stimuli, either physical touch or even mental stimulation in some cases. Just like any scientific equation, many factors can impact the quality of your orgasm. 

According to ScienceDirect, “Orgasm is a sensory phenomenon occurring in the cerebral cortex  in association with the ejaculatory reflex, which involves a complex interplay of somatic and autonomic nervous system pathways.” 

Health Benefits of Orgasms: What Research Says

Sure, orgasms feel great, but that’s not the only reason you may want to have as many as possible. One of our favorite orgasm facts is that there are health benefits to having one.

The International Headache Society reported that 60% of people suffering from a migraine reported some or complete relief after having an orgasm. Orgasms can even regulate anxiety, as well as reduce the risk of certain diseases like heart disease and cancer.  Plus, if you’re looking to improve your sleep quality, an orgasm can do that, too.

What Hormone Is Released During An Orgasm?

All of these health benefits have a lot to do with the fact that an orgasm causes the release of oxytocin, a powerful hormone with strong ties to health benefits. Oxytocin actually works as a natural painkiller. In fact, researchers found the threshold for pain increases by a whopping 75% during orgasm. 

Does gender make a difference? Male orgasm facts vs female orgasm facts

Female and male orgasm facts are fairly similar. Both genders experience a comparable feeling during orgasm, but there are some differences, including the duration of an orgasm and how long it takes to reach climax.

It’s a female orgasm fact that physiological factors are more likely to disrupt peak pleasure when compared to the male orgasm. In addition, men typically ejaculate during orgasm, while women experience momentary muscular contractions. That’s not to say females don’t ejaculate because some women do. 

The Evolutionary Purpose of Orgasms

So why did nature equip us with the beautiful ability to orgasm? According to the evolutionary behaviorist perspective, orgasms offer a natural way to promote the body to reproduce; after all, without reproduction, humans would die out. 

Tip for Achieving Better Orgasms

Want to know our number one tip for reaching better-quality orgasms? Use a vibrator! The Bloomi Play Mini Vibrator ($35) is a compact, handheld vibrator with the power to add even more pleasure to each climax. Plus, using a vibrator can make it easier to achieve orgasm - alone or with a partner. 

Do you prefer internal stimulation to climax? Bloomi Indulge Double-Sided Vibrator ($60) is specially designed for external and internal pleasure. Targeting everything from your clitoris (external) to the G-spot and P-spot (internal).

The Link Between Orgasms And Relationships

While vibrators are often associated with solo masturbating, they are highly recommended for couples to use together since they improve the likelihood and quality of orgasm. Research has found a correlation between couples who experience orgasm together and those with a stronger and more attached bond. 

The Bloomi Caress Full-Body Massager ($65) is a great addition to the bedroom for couples. You can kick off foreplay by giving each other body massages before moving the sensual vibrator to more intimate regions. Plus, the non-vibrating side offers the perfect tool for internal stimulation. 

4 Common Myths About Orgasms

Myth #1: Everyone reaches orgasm through vaginal penetration. 

It is very common to require additional stimulation in order to reach orgasm. Hence why so many people rave about pairing a vibrator for external stimulation with vaginal or anal penetration. 

Myth #2: Masturbation messes up sexual orgasms. 

This is not true at all! Quite the opposite, masturbation helps you get to know yourself and what gets you off, leading to better sexual encounters. 

Myth #3: Orgasms are the be-all and end-all of sex.

Sex unites two people and brings them closer together, and it can be full of fun, with or without an orgasm.  Think of the orgasm as the cherry on top of a sundae; it is absolutely delicious, but a sundae can still be great without the cherry.

Myth #4: All orgasms feel the same.

The truth is that no two orgasms are the same. What an orgasm feels like can vary individually and even situationally.

6 Different Types of Orgasms

You might be surprised to discover just how many different types of orgasms there are. Different types of orgasms can change what an orgasm feels like, as well as how it’s achieved. Here’s an overview of the most common types.

• Vaginal orgasm: This type of orgasm results from interior vaginal stimulation. According to the American Psychological Association, vaginal orgasms are still created by indirect stimulation of the clitoris. 

• Clitoral orgasm: This type of orgasm results from stimulating the exterior clitoris, the source of 60% of female orgasms. 

• Blended orgasm: The combination of clitoral and vaginal orgasms. 

• G-Spot orgasm: An orgasm that results from stimulating the G-spot, located at the top or front of the anterior wall of the vagina. 

• Anal orgasm: Orgasm sparked by anal stimulation. 

• Nipple orgasm: Stimulating the nipples sparks the part of the brain linked to genital stimulation, thus packing the power to push one into orgasm ecstasy. 

• Multiple orgasms: It is possible to have multiple orgasms simultaneously, although this is more common for women than it is for men. 

• Imagery-induced orgasm: No touching or physical stimulation is required at all to reach orgasm. Research has found that simply thinking about sexually charged material can spark one to climax. 

What Is Orgasmic Dysfunction and How Is It Treated?

When a person struggles to or cannot reach orgasm when sexually excited, it is referred to as Orgasmic dysfunction. According to MedlinePlus, 10 to 15 percent of women have never reached orgasm — but it doesn’t mean it’s too late to have one if you want one. Additionally, 50 percent of women are not satisfied with how often they reach orgasm. A host of factors can contribute to orgasmic dysfunction, including:

• A history of sexual abuse

• Fatigue, stress, and depression 

• Negative emotions towards sex (can be learned in earlier years) 

• Lack of understanding or knowledge about sexual function 

• Issues with partner 

• Lack of confidence to get what one desires 

In addition, certain health problems can hinder one’s ability to reach orgasm. For instance, if you are taking certain medications or have a hormonal imbalance or disorder, such as menopause.  Certain chronic illnesses can also affect sexual interest. 

Treatment for orgasmic dysfunction includes adopting an open mind towards sex and receiving education about sexual stimulation and response. In addition, working on your own mental and physical health may help tremendously. 

Bloomi Is Here To Help You Achieve Better Orgasms

We welcome you to start enjoying more orgasms by adding some new toys to your collection! For starters, people are raving about Bloomi’s handheld Massage Clitoral Vibrator ($45), perfectly designed for utmost pleasure. The science of orgasms tells us that orgasms are good for the body and mind, so treat yourself; you deserve it.

Kinky, spicy, sexually free. These days, we live in a time where folks are becoming more open about their sexuality, sexual expression, desires and preferences (yay for us!) But what if you don’t exactly feel you fit into the kinkster category? You might just be more ‘vanilla’ than others and we’re here to remind you: Being vanilla in bed is just as sexy and should be celebrated!

“It [being vanilla] references to not being kinky, which can mean ‘no BDSM’,” Carol Queen, a sexologist at Good Vibes and the curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum tells Bloomi, “And sometimes, it can also eschew more common acts like anal or different positions.”

And sure, being vanilla can overlap with being shy or fearful of exploring, but it should be said that it doesn’t always equate to that. It’s OK to be vanilla in bed, and if you are, it’s nothing to be ashamed of!

With the help and expertise of Queen, we’re here to break down what it means to be vanilla, how to know if you fall into this category, and most importantly, how to feel empowered in your sexuality and identity, below.

How do you know if you’re vanilla in bed?

There are a lot of flavors of ice cream out there. Some days, you might want vanilla, and other days, you might want vanilla with rainbow sprinkles. Some folks prefer chocolate or sherbet. Sex is sort of the same — we all may want and desire different things. And no desired ‘flavor’ is right or wrong.

Knowing if you’re vanilla is pretty simple. If you have no interest in exploring beyond certain sex acts — like maybe your go-to sex move or even oral play — that might point to having vanilla tastes, according to Queen.

However, vanilla can really fall into personal ideas too. For example, some folks would say as long as there is no BDSM but related kink is on the table, then it could still be called vanilla.

What are the stereotypes of being vanilla?

As we said before, being vanilla is nothing to be ashamed of. Of course, though, we understand where that shame might come from. The term vanilla comes with certain stereotypes, like being called old-fashioned, not exploratory, or even uptight and boring.

But all of this is far from the case.

“People who think this way have probably never had really hot passionate sex,” Queen says, “Which is anything but boring!”

Besides, there is nothing old-fashioned or boring about knowing what you like, and sticking to it. If anything, it proves you truly know yourself, and what gets you off (and we approve of that!)

Being vanilla can be empowered — here’s how

If you think you might be vanilla, but you’re nervous about claiming the label as your own, we want to encourage you to think differently about it. When it comes down to it, it’s not a bad thing, ever!

“It is one set of erotic preferences and is as fine to prefer as any other constellation of consensual erotic desires,” Queen explains, “There is nothing negative about being vanilla per se.”

When it comes to feeling empowered in your vanilla desires, Queen reminds us to remember:

• You don't have to have the kind of sex you don't want to have! (Or any sex at all, if you don't want it.)

• Being vanilla can be super-hot and satisfying and there is nothing wrong with that being your basic sexual style.

• If you feel stuck and not terribly comfortable with sex, that calls for learning more about sex in general and possibly seeing a coach or therapist to deal with sexual shame, any trauma history that might underlie the fear, etc.

3 ways vanilla folks can spice their sexual side and still do what feels right to them

We all want to spice up our sex lives now and then (even if identify as vanilla!)

1. Practice clear communication

Before anything, make sure you’re practicing clear communication all around.

“Start by making sure that sexual communication with partner(s) is excellent and that consent practices are clear and always followed, Queen suggests, “If the sex you're having feels fraught or not very pleasurable, there is work to do before you get to the "spice" part.”

If you cannot say no and or be heard and respected, spice and exploration become much harder to embrace.

2. Incorporate sex-positive toys (if you’re comfortable)

At Bloomi, we believe that everyone deserves access to their own pleasure — especially folks who are more vanilla or new into trying out sexual wellness products. If you’re comfortable trying out sex toys, consider our beginner-friendly Massage Clitoral Vibrator ($45), which is great for all gender pleasure. Or if you’re wanting something made for sex and a full-body massage, try our Caress Full-Body Massager ($65).

And vanilla or not, don’t forget to use a great lubricant for maximum comfort and pleasure during sex. Our Smooth Water-Based lube ($15) is a great option for anyone.

3. Learn more about sex

By all accounts, the most helpful thing you can do for your (and your partner’s) pleasure is to learn more about sex.

“Maximize the pleasure you experience through vanilla play. Explore erotic stories (or videos, if you are up for it) to see whether there are activities that are a turn-on and that you might want to try,” Queen says, “As the fabulous Emily Nagoski (and other sex educators) might put it, "pleasure is the measure" as you explore, fantasize, or have any sex at all.”

Learning what is the measure for you — and knowing you can trust your partner to be on the same page —means the door to new sexual experiences may seem to open far more easily.

“There is 100% nothing wrong with being vanilla — nor is there anything wrong with trying new flavors,” Queen adds.

Vanilla is great — and if you do desire, you can play with add-ons: rainbow sprinkles, chopped almonds and maybe even raspberry sauce. Your flavor is your choice.

When it comes to learning how to prepare for anal sex, it's natural to feel overwhelmed as a newbie (or someone who’s felt vanilla in the past but wants to explore now!) What lube should you use? What are the best practices? Is it supposed to feel that way? Having pleasurable (and safe) anal sex is completely possible — with a little help from Bloomi!

According to the CDC, it’s reported that 35.9 percent of women and 42.3 percent of men has ever had anal sex. But that seemingly high gap to 100 percent doesn’t mean that folks who haven’t tried it aren’t interested at all.

Lots of folks are, they just don’t know how to go about it. If you (or your partner) is curious about exploring anal sex for the first time, here is everything you want to know about how to prepare for anal sex and have a great first experience.

What is anal sex?

Anal sex is a sexual act that happens between two or more consenting adults that involves penetration of the anus. Penetration doesn't have to happen with the penis only – you can use a finger, tongue, or a variety of sex toys. People identifying as any gender and sexual orientation can have and enjoy anal sex. 

What does anal sex feel like?

Would it surprise you if we said that anal sex will feel different for everyone? One common thing, though, is that many people report is anal orgasm feels deeper than other types of orgasms. The way cis-women and cis-men experience anal pleasure will vary due to the anatomy. 

Cis-men have a pleasure spot that feels amazing when stimulated during anal sex. The p-spot (AKA the prostate) is located internally below the bladder, in front of the rectum. The prostate's main function is to produce the fluid that nourishes and helps transport semen. Many penis owners overlook this area and mainly focus on penis stimulation. However, prostate stimulation can increase orgasm by 33 percent.

While cis-women don't have a prostate, anal sex can still feel great, and they can experience anal orgasms. The wall between the anus and the vagina is thin. So, when the penis or a toy penetrates the anus during anal sex, different vagina pleasure zones are stimulated.

How to prepare for anal sex

Taking the time to properly prepare for anal sex the first time can make a massive difference in your experience. Here are some of the key things you want to consider:

1. Communication is key 

You'll want to take time to discuss anal play you're interested in, curious about, or are totally against. Tell your partner(s) what is on and off the table for that experience. Just because you agree to a specific activity this time does not mean it's an automatic yes in the future.

Setting boundaries beforehand will create a safe environment that is respectful and consensual every time. This includes deciding which positions you're open to, disclosing your sexual history, or trying a new anal toy. Doing this should help you enter the experience feeling comfortable and excited.

2. Light or deep clean 

Ensuring bowel movement about 30 to 60 minutes before playtime and doing some basic external cleaning will help you have a fun session. We recommend showering before playtime and rinsing your anus with warm water. If you'd also like to cleanse with soap, a gentle and unscented wash — like Bloomi's Cleanse Intimate Skin Foaming Wash — is best because it won't strip the anus of its natural fluids. 

Some people prefer an anal rinse before engaging in anal play. If a deeper cleanse feels like a better option for you, we suggest using a reusable anal douche bulb. Here are the steps to take:

• Rinse out the bulb with wrist-temperature water.

• Attach your nozzle of choice. Tip: the bigger the nozzle, the quicker the rinse-out is.

• Lubricate the nozzle before insertion. This will help with discomfort or pain. Bloomi's water-based lubricant will work well. 

• Experiment to find the best position for you. This will take practice, but you can try inserting the bulb by lying on your back, sitting on the toilet, or standing.

3. Be generous with the lube

As with most types of sex, anal feels much better with lubrication. Since your anus doesn't create its own lubricant, it's important to use enough lube to avoid tearing and enhance pleasure. Apply a generous amount of lube in between the cheeks, on the rim of the anus (allow some to enter the canal using the tips of your fingers), and on the object you'll be using to penetrate.

Silicone lubricants are ideal for anal play because they have a great slip and don't dry out as quickly as water- or oil-based lubricants do. However, silicone lubricant is not compatible with silicone toys. 

As such, if you're planning to use any toys from your nightstand collection, stick with a water-based lubricant. And remember, don't be afraid to reapply as often as you need. We recommend a water-based or aloe vera-based lubricant, as they are latex and silicone compatible. 

4. Consider the barrier method

Even if you're in a fluid-bonded relationship (don't typically wear barrier protection, like a condom) or using a penis-shaped toy, you may want to consider using a barrier method.

The barrier can make it easy to glide during penetration, prevent bacteria from spreading, and makes for easier cleanup. If you aren't fluid-bonded, it is even more important to use a barrier method because STIs are more likely to transmit via anal sex. Remember to always change the condom if you plan on moving from anal to the vagina or oral sex.

5. Try with toys or a finger first 

Begin with small introductions (like a finger or small anal plug) for the first-time anal sex to accustom the receiver to the sensations. Make sure that whatever you insert has a solid base, like Fun Factory's Bootie Anal Plug and Prostate Massager. Otherwise, an object can get stuck inside of you. 

6. No "double-dipping" 

Make sure that toys that are being inserted into the anus are cleaned or covered with a condom. If inserting with fingers, gloves are a great option to not only keep your fingers clean but also allow for smoother insertion. 

Don't go from butt to genitals without cleaning up! If you plan to switch to genital play after anal sex, make sure to thoroughly wash your fingers, hands, and/or toys to avoid potential infections like UTIs or yeast infections.

7. Check in frequently and go slow

Frequent check-ins are sexy and will make the experience more pleasurable and safe. Ask your partner(s) questions like, "Are you enjoying this?" and "Is this comfortable?" 

It's OK to take a pause and try again in a new position or at a different pace. You want to make sure the receiver is comfortable throughout the entire experience. Be patient. While anal sex may feel different, you should never be in agony. If you're in pain, be sure you speak up and stop. Slow and fluid thrusts help accustom people to the stimulation and prevent tearing. 

The penetrator and receiver should be prepared and mature in case things get a little messy. As the person who is penetrating, if there happens to be residue, always reassure your partner(s) and check in to see if they need to take a break or want to keep going. 

8. Show other areas some love too

Many report feeling deeper and stronger orgasms during anal penetration. However, a receiver can only reach this if they're relaxed and stimulated. Stimulating other intimate areas, like the clitoris, nipples, and penis, may help. It's arousing and helps expand muscles for an enhanced anal play experience.

For folk interested in prostate (located about two inches inside the rectum) stimulation, consider internal and external play. Pleasure toys like Lelo's Hugo and Bloomi's Indulge are all great options for exploring p-spot internal and external stimulation.