There are so many lubes out there — but for some folks, it can still feel like a shameful and taboo topic. Luckily, openness around sex and self-pleasure has been steadily growing over time, helping to rid ourselves of the misconceptions around lube, especially.
Sex coach Myisha Battle says, "I think there is a stigma against using lube in general, particularly for women because producing one's own lubrication is seen as a sign of arousal." According to her, if women find it hard to get wet, this may be misinterpreted as a sign that they aren't turned on enough.
Yet many women experience desire without getting wet. Carly S., a sex educator, based in New York, adds that she thinks the biggest misconception around lube is that it’s only for penetration. B
But that couldn't be further from the truth. Let's talk about why you want to use a personal lubricant during any sexual activity — how to choose the most perfect one for you, below.
What can you use a personal lubricant for?
Lube can be used for many things: sex with a partner, solo play, with toys and more. But using lube during masturbation, in particular, is a great way to spice up your self-pleasure routine. According to Battle, applying lube to your hand or sex toy during masturbation can take your pleasure to the next level.
"Using lube during masturbation can sometimes take you to deeper levels of pleasure because you get to immediately experience the gliding effect that your own lubricant provides without waiting for your body to produce it," she says.
During solo or partnered play, lube reduces friction, which will decrease any discomfort and increase your pleasure. Lube can help take the pressure off the body and assist in getting the blood flowing, which will ultimately increase one's arousal and help stimulate an orgasm. Steif says that lube also cuts down on friction, which can cause irritation. According to her, wet hands and wet toys just feel better.
"Even for solo sessions without penetration, making everything more slippery will also make everything feel better!" she says. Beyond this, even if you don't have issues producing lubrication on your own, lube can heighten your sensations.
The important thing to keep in mind is that there is absolutely nothing shameful about using lube, whether you're using it by yourself or with a partner.
Choosing the best lubricant: water-based vs. oil-based vs. silicone-based
When choosing the best personal lubricant for you, consider what your body needs and what feels good. Also, consider what you'll be using the lube the most for – solo or partnered play, with toys, condoms, or for anal. While certain lubes can be used in most scenarios, usually, the best option will depend on the sexual act.
When selecting a lube, both Battle and our team at Bloomi recommend natural, water-based lubricants as they "won't disrupt your body's natural pH and flora, but there are other types of lube that are great for specific acts."
"To prolong the use of your toy, be sure to use a water-based lube and wash it according to its care instructions," Steif says to watch out for undesirable ingredients such as glycerin, glycol, and parabens, as these can cause yeast infections, burning sensations, or irritation.
She also notes that oil-based lube has become more popular recently and that unrefined coconut oil is a good option, although some research suggests coconut oil can lead to yeast infections or pH imbalance since it has antibacterial properties.
Always do a test run
Make sure to always do a test run with any new intimacy product — but especially lube. Sometime, folks can have allergies that they aren’t aware of, including plants or seeds that may be in clean, all-natural products. To avoid potential intimate skin allergic reactions, be sure to patch-test the item by applying a small amount of the formula to a less-sensitive part of your skin, like your arm. Then check to see if you have any reactions.
Be sure to apply the same amount of product that you would use on your intimate area and keep it on for as long as you'd use it normally. Because some reactions do not happen immediately, try it again in about a week. If your skin doesn't react to the ingredients, it'll likely be safe to use on intimate areas. If it does, wash off the product immediately and keep it away from your intimate skin.
Lastly, if you just shaved or waxed your intimate area, it is not the time to try out your new lubricant. When we remove pubic hair, intimate skin becomes more sensitive and may be more susceptible to irritation or ingrown hairs. As a result, a formula — clean or not — that may not typically inflame the skin could end up causing some irritation like burning or itchiness.
Best lubricant recommendations for sex
1. Lubricants that are great for anal sex
Sexologist and Bloomi co-founder Rebecca Alvarez Story says water-based lubes, which typically have a pH value of 4.5, are compatible with vaginal pH. However, because anuses have a higher pH value, water-based lubes can sometimes cause irritation. Instead, silicone lubes could be best when engaging in anal play because it's both slippery and doesn't irritate the anus' natural environment.
Uberlube is a great silicone lube that's formulated without harmful ingredients like parabens, alcohol, glycerin, or scents and flavors. It's designed to be used even in water, so if you want to have fun with your partner in a pool or another body of water, you can still use it without issues. One thing to note about silicone lube is that it might stain the bedding, so make sure to put a towel if that's something you want to avoid.
Another best anal lube option is oil-based lubes. They are usually thicker, long-lasting, and don't require frequent reapplication during intimate activity.
Bloomi's Delight is a clean, oil-based personal lubricant to help you enjoy intimate moments. It is formulated for penile and/or vaginal application, intended to moisturize and lubricate, to enhance the ease and comfort of intimate activity, and supplement the body's natural lubrication.
One thing to keep in mind if you're using oil-based lube for anal sex is that it's not compatible with most condoms. Oil in the lube deteriorates the latex in the condoms, which makes the condom more prone to breakage. In the scenario where you're using a condom during anal sex to prevent STIs, it's better to choose silicone lube.
2. Perfect for those who want to have vaginal sex
Water-based lube is, in most cases, the best option for vaginal sex. Bloomi's Smooth is a clean, water-based personal lubricant to help you enjoy intimate moments. It is formulated for penile and/or vaginal application, intended to moisturize and lubricate, to enhance the ease and comfort of intimate activity, and supplement the body's natural lubrication.
However, because of its H20 base, it typically dries up in about three to five minutes, so reapplication is key to keeping a nice slip to reduce the risk of vaginal tearing and condom breaking. Water-based lubricants are condom- and sex toy-friendly, so if you regularly use latex or polyisoprene condoms in your pleasure routine, be generous.
Another option is to use oil-based personal lubricant during vaginal sex. Oil-based lubricants, like Bloomi's Delight oil-based personal lubricant, are ideal for those who have sensitive skin, are prone to skin allergic reactions, or are experiencing vaginal dryness due to hormonal changes like menopause.
But remember that oil-based lubricants are not compatible with silicone toys or polyisoprene materials and latex condoms. In fact, oil-based products, in general, will damage and degrade silicone and latex materials over time, which increases the risk of a condom tearing or ruining your new vibrator.
Instead, oil-based lubricants are best for massaging directly into the intimate skin to increase sensation during sex. Lastly, because of its oily formula, cleanup may require a little more elbow grease, but you are safe just using soap and water. Moreover, oil-based lubes are more prone to staining clothing or bedding, so be careful and lay a towel down just in case.
3. Amazing personal lubricants for toys
Choosing the best lubricant to use with toys depends on what material your toys are made of. Battle says to be careful when using silicone-based lube on silicone sex toys as it will degrade the silicone in the toy and ultimately make it less body-safe.
So, if you often use silicone rabbit vibrators, g-spot massagers, or wand vibrators, silicone might not be the best option for you. Instead, choose a personal lubricant that's water-based and won't negatively affect the silicone of your toys. Plus, water-based lubes are super easy to clean up.
On the other hand, if you use glass or stainless steel toys, you can definitely experiment with silicone and oil-based personal lubricants because they won't affect the material of the toy. And using oil-based lube like Bloomi's Delight might prolong and enhance the experience with a glass or stainless steel toy.
It's important to note that if you swap between anal and vaginal play when using sex toys, you want to wear a condom to avoid the spread of bacteria and minimize the chances of infection. In that case, an oil-based lube won't work because oil and latex are not compatible, so choose silicone or water-based lube instead.
4. Best lubricant for masturbation
Choosing the best lube for masturbation depends on what self-pleasure act you enjoy the most. For external play only, Bloomi's Desire Sensual Pleasure Oil is a great option to enhance the sensations over intimate skin. Also, for external use only over intimate skin, Bloomi's Luxe Arousal Oil is a great option because it's formulated with CBD, which improves blood circulation and enhances pleasure.
For vaginal penetration, water-based lube like Bloomi's Smooth is an all-around safest option. It's easy to clean up and won't disturb the vaginal pH levels, which is great for those more sensitive and prone to yeast infections. However, the best lubricant for menopause dryness, if that's something you are experiencing, might be oil-based lube like Bloomi's Delight.