How to have the best vacation sex this season

Do you notice that once summer rolls around and you are off on vacation, suddenly you are in the mood for mind-blowing sex? One survey found that 80% of Americans believe sex is better when they are away from home, so if you have noticed you want more intimacy while traveling, you are definitely not alone.

What makes vacation sex better than sex at home?

Vacation sex tends to feel more exciting because your body and mind are both more relaxed and more open to novelty. You are away from work stress, you are sleeping more, and you are somewhere new, and all three of those things play a real role in boosting desire.

Dr. Justin Lehmiller's research backs this up in a big way. His studies show that 90% of people fantasize about having sex in a hotel, and 83% fantasize about having sex on the beach or in another vacation setting, which tells us that summer really is one of the best times of year to reconnect physically with a partner.

And if you are like many people who choose to vacation in sunny locations this summer or fall, you might be getting a testosterone boost, which can be a reason for increased sex drive. 

Why vacation naturally boosts your sex drive

A few things happen on vacation that do not happen as easily back home, and together they add up to a real difference in how aroused and connected you feel.

A new environment. Changing your surroundings introduces novelty, and novelty is one of the strongest drivers of arousal, even in long-term relationships.

Less stress and more sleep. Both stress and poor sleep can quietly lower sex drive, so when vacation gives you more rest and less pressure, it makes sense that your interest in sex goes up along with it.

More time in the sun. Sun exposure can support healthy testosterone levels, which plays a role in sex drive for people of all genders, so soaking up some rays may be doing more for your libido than you realized.

7 ways to make vacation intimacy unforgettable

1. Set realistic expectations

It is easy to assume that more free time automatically means more sex, but chances are that you and your partner will also be tired and simply want to rest. Instead of putting pressure on yourself or your partner to have sex every chance you get, try focusing on enjoying each other's company and getting plenty of sleep, and let intimacy happen at its own natural pace.

2. Remember that foreplay never really stops

World-renowned sex and relationship expert Esther Perel puts it best when she says foreplay is not the five minutes before the real thing, it starts at the end of the previous orgasm. That mindset is easy to lose when life at home gets busy and hectic.

Vacation gives you fewer distractions and a lot more free time, so it is a great chance to spend some of that time keeping the flame alive outside the bedroom. Pro tip: offer your partner a full body massage, give them your undivided attention while they talk, ask what is on their mind, and stay physically close through small moments like holding hands or a lingering kiss.

3. Do not forget the essentials

Sex toys and lubricant can genuinely take vacation intimacy to the next level, so do not shy away from packing your favorites, and consider trying something new now that you are outside your usual routine.

Bloomi's Massage is a small external vibrator that works well for both vulvas and penises, which makes it an easy and versatile option for couples to share. Lubricant is also a must for travel, and Bloomi's Smooth, a water-based lubricant, is nourishing and makes cleanup simple wherever you are staying. If shower or bath sex is part of the plan, Bloomi's Delight is an oil based lubricant that lasts longer and feels especially nourishing on the skin.

4. Create a sex menu together

A sex menu is simply a shared list of activities you already enjoy or are curious to try, and while it can be hard to sit down and build one at home, vacation gives you the time and headspace to actually do it. Opening up about desires together is also a wonderful way to deepen intimacy, since sharing something personal like this naturally brings two people closer.

5. Try new things together, not just in the bedroom

Trying new and exciting activities with your partner, even ones that have nothing to do with sex, can boost arousal and even change the way you see each other. This happens through something called misattribution of arousal, where your body links the excitement of one experience to the person you are sharing it with.

For example, going skydiving together is thrilling and hormonally charged, and the rush of euphoria that follows often becomes tied to your partner in your mind. So plan an adventurous outing together, since the novelty of shared excitement tends to carry over into how connected and aroused you feel afterward.

6. Be brave and share some fantasies

The same survey mentioned earlier found that 72% of people are more likely to act on their fantasies while on vacation, which makes travel a natural and low pressure moment to share something you have kept to yourself.

Pro tip: while you are on your flight, road trip, or out at dinner, agree to each share two or three fantasies with one another. Talking them through out loud, away from the routine of home, often makes it easier to open up, and sharing something new gives your partner a chance to discover a side of you they had not seen before, which can help kindle the flame long after the trip ends.

7. No trip planned? Recreate the vibe at home

If a getaway is not in the cards this summer, you can still recreate that same sense of freedom and anticipation right at home. Put in the effort to line up a sitter, tidy up the house, and set the mood the way you would if you were somewhere new together.

Some parents of small children understandably struggle to feel comfortable spending a full night away, and that is completely normal. If an overnight away from the kids does not feel realistic right now, make the most of your time together after they fall asleep, or invite a trusted loved one or caretaker to stay over with the children so the two of you can slip away to your bedroom or another separate space in the house.

Ready to give it a try for yourself? A little planning, whether you are packing for a trip or setting the mood at home, can make this the summer your intimacy feels new again.