Oral sex, head, going down, cunnilingus — no matter how you prefer to say it, oral sex can be a GREAT intimacy builder among couples, you just have to find the best oral sex position for you.
In one study, it was found that for both men and women (and folks of all genders) that receiving oral sex can boost the chance of orgasm, enhance sexual enjoyment, and even be a predictor of emotional closeness.
Plus, with 70 percent of people with vulvas requiring clitoral stimulation to orgasm, it is a no-brainer to include oral sex into your routine. as foreplay or the main course. Here's what you should know to make your next session the most magical:
What is oral sex?
Oral sex is a sexual act during which one partner uses their mouth, lips, and tongue to stimulate their partner's intimate areas. There are different types of oral sex, like fellatio, which includes penis stimulation; cunnilingus which involves clitoral stimulation; and anilingus, which involves the stimulation of the anus.
Oral sex is the second most common sex act, after vaginal sex. In the last month, 49% of women aged 18-49 reported giving their partner oral sex, and 42% reported receiving oral sex.
Can you get STI from oral sex?
Yes. Just like with any other sexual act where bodily fluids are exchanged without a barrier, like a condom or a dental dam, you can transmit STIs.
Your guide to best oral sex positions, oral sex toys, and techniques
People with vulvas tend to experience more shame than those with penises about asking for oral sex due to worrying about odor, grooming, or vaginal fluid taste. Also, some partners are frankly just not that great at it. If your partner isn't the best oral sex partner you've had, let's help you help them.
5 of the best oral sex positions to try
Everyone will have different preferences when it comes to which oral sex position is their favorite. It's worth experimenting with a few different ones to get a feel of how different positions affect the way the stimulation feels and find the one (or more) that feels the best.
1. On your back
The classic oral sex position. Lay on your back in the middle of the bed or on the edge of it. Your partner's knees or lays down between your legs. This position gives your partner plenty of access to your whole intimate area, allowing them to explore the zone with their mouth and their fingers easily.
2. Sitting
Getting into this oral sex position is fairly easy – you sit down on the edge of the bed or in the chair, and your partner kneels between your legs. If they're uncomfortable, it's good to place some pillows under their knees so they can last in the position longer without experiencing discomfort.
You can keep your feet on the floor or place your legs over your partner's shoulder. Experiment with how the sensations of your partner's mouth and fingers feel with your legs bent and pulled closer to your chest. Even small adjustments can make a difference in how much better the stimulation feels.
3. Doggy style
To get into this position, get on all fours on a comfortable surface. Your partner settles behind you on all fours as well. This position is great because it gives the receiver (you) a lot of control over the stimulation as you can easily move. It's also the perfect position to explore other intimate areas apart from the clitoris and vagina and experiment with stimulating the anus.
4. Against the wall
Oral sex can be very pleasurable when standing up. To make sure you don't lose your balance when your knees get weak, lean against the wall for support. You can stand with your face facing the wall or lean against it with your back.
Your partner kneels in front of you (again, don't forget the cushions or pillows for their knee support). You can stand with both feet on the ground, or you can place one leg over your partner's shoulder to give them more access you.
5. 69
To get into this position, one partner lays down flat on their back, and the other partner lays down on top of them in the opposite direction so that you both are facing each other's intimate areas instead of faces. Then, you both stimulate each other with your mouths.
The TK best oral sex techniques to give a whirl
There are more than one ways to stimulate the clitoris during oral sex. So, let's go over some of the techniques to help you experience the best oral sex of your life:
1. The clitoris is bigger than you think
Remind your partner about your magical clitoris and the ACTUAL shape of it. It's not just a small, external nub, but instead, a larger, longer organ with two internal 'legs' called crura that contain thousands of nerve endings. Find motions that stimulate all of it, not just the tiny part you can see.
2. Meet Kivin
After your partner learns the shape of your clit, try 'sideways oral' or the Kivin Method. You (the vulva owner) lie on your back and bring your knees to your chest or place them over your partner's shoulders. Next, have your partner lies sideways (either side is fine... try both). They can start pleasuring you with up and down motions that go side to side over the head of your clitoris.
3. Alternate sensations
Try alternating between sucking, licking sideways, licking upward, and circular motions. The clitoris might get numb to the sensation if your partner goes hard on one type of stimulation, so changing up the intensity and the movement can make things much more dynamic.
4. Dirty talk goes a long way
If you enjoy dirty talk, oral sex is the perfect time to indulge in it. Sure, your partner's mouth might be busy, but they can easily take pauses in between stimulation to tell you how pretty you look, how good you taste, and how much they love "eating you out."
5. Incorporate the fingers
Involving the fingers during oral sex to stimulate the G-spot can have a very positive result in how much more intense the sensations and the orgasm will feel for you. Your partner can insert their fingers (start with one and increase the number if you feel like it) and gently massage your G-spot by making the "come hither" motion on your upper vaginal wall (on the belly side.)
6. Bring in the toys
Sex toys are yours and your partner's best friends, even during oral sex.
Incorporating a penetrative toy like Bloomi's Indulge can elevate the experience and give you intense blended orgasms. Your partner can insert the toy with the vibrating or non-vibrating side (alternate between the two if you like) to give you that G-spot stimulation and use their mouth to pleasure you externally.
Did you know you can experience oral sex solo?
Yes! You can experience the pleasures of oral sex even without a partner. There are plenty of sex toys on the market that are designed to mimic the sensation of your partner's mouth on you. Adding these sex toys to your sexual repertoire can lead to great orgasms.
LELO's Ora 3 is an oral sex toy that's designed to mimic the sensation of your lover's tongue over the clitoris. It has a little rotating nub and has different vibration settings to allow you to choose the intensity of your pleasure.
For a different type of oral stimulation, try Womanizer's Premium 2 oral stimulator. It uses the Pleasure Air technology that stimulates the clitoris without direct touch through waves of intense sucking and massaging stimulations. You can choose the toy to run on autopilot, which allows you to relax and enjoy unpredictable intensities.
For dual oral stimulation that mimics the external and internal stimulation during oral sex with a partner, LELO's Enigma is the way to go. This unique-looking toy is designed to provide sonic wave clitoral stimulation and targeted G-spot stimulation at the same time.